


When Can I See You Again?

by crowhye



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College Entrance Exam, F/F, Gay Panic, How Do I Tag, Hyejoo just gay panics that's it, Hyejoo longs for her mystery girl crush, Light Angst, Longing for your crush, Strangers, They did not end up together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27367576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowhye/pseuds/crowhye
Summary: hyejoo is a gay panic and soon to be a college student. she tries to talk to the mystery girl who was in front of her in the exam room but things didn't turn out so well...
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	When Can I See You Again?

**Author's Note:**

> hello guys!!! so this is my first fanfic in a while so can i get a free pass? Lol but hey please enjoy this hyewon food i'm giving hahahaha. this fanfic was actually based on my experience last year when i was taking my entrance exam so these words are pretty raw? if i have to say since this is what i truly felt back then but don't worry i'm over with it. if there are any grammatical mistakes it;s me im sorry. but again pls enjoy!

Hyejoo doesn't really like waking up early in the morning. She would rather stay in bed on a Sunday morning and get more energy but she really has to get up. It is her big day.

The day where she will be taking her college entrance exam. She doesn't really care that much but with effort, there might be a chance that she might pass. As Yerim would always say.

"Hyejoo are you ready?" her dad asked.

"I guess? I mean I did study the whole day last Friday and got enough rest yesterday, so I might do okay." she shouldered her bag and grabbed her oversized gray jacket from the sofa. "Plus, Yerim will be there so we might meet and study a bit." 

"Do your best, you two. I just really hope that you guys pass." He smiled and went out of the house to start the car.

_I think you're only referring to Yerim, dad._ She wanted to say that but didn’t have the courage to even tell him.

\-----------------------

The whole ride was quiet and she got drowsy along the way. She would wake up and study the notes she wrote last night then goes back to sleep. It’s not like she lacked sleep last night but it was probably she just woke up too early. More earlier than her dad.

She was that nervous since a lot of people were expecting that she would pass the exam because her father’s side went to the same university she’s going to take today, including her own sister. Yerim told her that she shouldn’t be living up to someone's expectations but to live a life on your own accord. At least that gave her reassurance on her efforts yet she still feels the lingering feeling of rejection at the back of her mind.

_Just remember Yerim’s advice. Be confident. You can do this_ , she said at herself and sighs deeply. She switched her current song to Orbit of yours by dosii so that she can calm her nerves down.

Her dad later noticed that she was awake and asked, “are you hungry, I was planning to stop by your favorite fast-food chain since it’s near your testing venue.” Hyejoo looked at him through the rear mirror.

“Yeah and thanks, dad. You know what to order for me” she says that plainly while putting her notes back inside her bag. Then she got a notification from Yerim.

YERIM

HYEJOOOOOOOO GOOD LUCK LATER <3

HYEJOO

it’s not only me whos going to take the test right?

but good luck to you too I know you can do it

YERIM

Are you thinking about that again?

HYEJOO

thanks for reminding me

YERIM

OH NO IM SO SORRY :(((

HYEJOO

I’m just kidding

Let’s meet up later

They prob have a break time in between

so we can study the next topics together

Good for you?

YERIM

Anytime <3

Just in time, the car finally stopped at her favorite fast-food chain. The blacked haired girl grabbed her things and went out of the car. The place was bright, well too bright for Hyejoo’s opinion. It was probably the only place that was well lit since the other stores are closed since it was still 6 in the morning.

When she stepped inside the place, the satisfying smell of fried chicken rushed in through her nose.

_Okay, that was nice but…_ , there are a lot of students studying. They were around her age, she guesses that these students are going to take the exam since there were familiar review booklets on their table. Plus, most of these students seem to be with their parents, like Hyejoo and her dad. There was a small hint of anxiety on her chest that’s trying to swell inside her. She brushes it off and sat near the window, while her father tries to order their meal.

Instead of studying, she was trying to get her focus while listening to her playlist. _I studied enough. They did say that I shouldn’t overstudy so let’s all try to be chill here shall we._ She probably daydreamed without knowing since her dad was already there with their orders.

“Oh you’re not studying anymore?” her dad asked while putting their orders. “I thought that you’re going to study here?” Hyejoo took off her earphones and sets them aside near her belongings.

“I rather not overstudy. I might get mind blocked while taking the exam later.” She grabbed her hot chocolate and digged in her food. As much as possible she doesn’t want a lecture from her father of not studying because she has been doing too much of it. She puts enough effort to study lately. All because she wants to impress somebody. So that others can finally say that she has done something great once and not just shying away from the crowd like before. Hyejoo has changed, that’s what she knows.

“Sure, just do your best out there. I know you’ll pass the exam”, now that hits her chest more. She hopes the day will go _fast_ so she can finally get the anxiety of her chest.

\---------------------------

She’s finally at the her testing building and the security has been letting the student go in earlier than expected. She went in since it was almost her assigned schedule. The security checked her back and leads her to the building’s elevator with a group of students. She can say that the place was really modernized and slick since it has a minimalistic aesthetic feel to it. The blacked haired girl got in the elevator with the others as the elevator arrived at their floor. Then as it closes, the elevator was surprisingly fast and Hyejoo felt like her soul got separated from her body. It wasn’t just her but there were a couple of people who felt the same thing but they were able to compromise themselves.

Later as the elevator door opens, the security leads them to their testing rooms. The other students were nervous and some were still reading their notes until they got to their room. Her room was half-filled with students, some are busy studying and other were talking to one another. As always, Hyejoo will always pick the sit at the back of the room. No matter what classroom. She sits down and starts to browse through her notes as more students comes in the room. What she didn’t notice was there was a lady in front of the classroom already.

“Okay everyone good morning! I will be your proctor today”, the lady was probably around 40 years old and a strict professor of the college. “We will be starting the exam as early as possible. About 20 mins from now, but I will be discussing the rules of today’s exams. So no one is allowed to talk during the exam, if you were caught you will be automatically be disqualified. Next, you should only have your…”

_Man this is just the same as the other exams that I took, can we just get along with it?_ , Hyejoo thought. Everyone was focused on the rules but what she was focused on was the girl in front of her. She didn’t notice the blonde girl until now however there was something about her that makes the black-haired girl feel warm inside. Hyejoo thinks this probably those “entrance exam crushes” that her friends tell her about. She feels stupid to have that experience if she’s going to be honest. She just shrugs it off and starts to listen to the last instructions.

“The people in front please pass the worksheet books to the people at the back and get the book on top please since this is numbered”, the students started passing the books and Hyejoo was looking if the book already arrived at the girl in front of her.

_Hyejoo don’t be awkward, just say thank you and smile,_ then the time arrives. The blonde girl already has the books. She turns around, facing the black-haired girl, and said,

“Here” and then the world stops. All Hyejoo can say right now is just _wow_. She never seen a smile like that before. It gives a different radiance from the other smiles she’s seen. Yerim does smile a lot, but this smile that’s in front of her is different. It was the right amount of warmth and sweetness that makes Hyejoo’s heart flip. She can’t even describe the totality of that smile but she knows that she wants to protect it.

“Um thanks” she feels like those words just slip right out her mouth while getting the workbook from the mystery girl. She returned smiled and went back to her table so that she can focus on her own exam.

All Hyejoo wants to know was her _name_. That was all.

\---------------------

It was already their break and Hyejoo was glad that she was able to focus throughout the exam. She was pretty confident on her answers but nobody cares about that, she needs to ask the blonde girl’s name.

_It’s not that hard to ask right? But she might think I’m weird, we’re both strangers after all. How about if I ask her how she was doing with the exam. It’s not that bad, right? Should I really ask for her name? It might seem weird if I ask right? Why am I doing this to myself? It’s not like I’m going to see her again after this. But what if we became friends? God, I wish I wasn’t this gay panic._

Before she can even approach the mystery girl, she noticed that was already by the door. Hyejoo immediately grabs her burger and follows her while she’s still having a debate with herself but she realizes that she should find Yerim instead. She did promise to meet up with her so she grabs her phone and texted her.

HYEJOO

Hey where are you?

It’s also your break right? Let’s meet up.

There wasn’t any response. Yet.

She eats her burger in hand while scrolling through her notes on her phone. There wasn’t any sign of Yerim texting her back or the blonde girl insight. She was left alone doing her own thing. Well, she was used to this anyway. But then there was a message from Yerim.

YERIM

Hyejoooo what floor are you I was a bit late! :’(

HYEJOO

I’m at the 12th floor

We’re supposed to be on the same floor???

YERIM

SURPRISINGLY they didn’t follow the

assigned rooms for us

They said it during the rules part

You didn’t listen didn’t you…

HYEJOO

Um hahahaha?

YERIM

Oh my poor Son Hyejoo

HYEJOO

don't judge me it was boring I know what happens next anyway

Jk I love you Yerimie and you know that already

Also eat this burger :(

So good luck again :)

YERIM

It’s okay! Good luck to you too!!!

SENDING LOTS OF LOVE <3 <3

Hyejoo snickered and sent a heart emoji back to her best friend. Once she was done eating, she didn’t feel like studying anymore. What she wants is to look for the mystery girl. That may have been weird considering that she has never done this before but she’s still gathering the courage to talk to her. She went around the floor but she can’t seem to find her. She doesn’t like what she was doing, she feels like it's evading her privacy. But for a simple, hello and hi’s … what was wrong with that? So she went back to the place she stayed before. She kept on thinking and thinking if she should do it.

Sadly, their proctor went outside the room and said “OKAY EVERYONE PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM SO THAT WE CAN RESUME OUR TEST!”, their proctor announced this throughout the floor and Hyejoo was reaching the end of her internal conflict. She wasn’t sure about her decision but time was ticking and she will only has 2 hours left.

As she went in the mystery girl was already there. She looks at her and thinks, she annoyed at herself that she still hasn’t decided. So she sat on her sit and waits for the proctor to instruct them for the next half of the test. And when their proctor gave the go signal, Hyejoo started going through the exam as usual but she was still debating if she should start a conversation after the test.

She knows that she should just drop it but this was a one-time chance in her life. She might become friends with her and talk to her online, but she also thought that the conversation that she’ll have with her will be nothing. After this, they won’t see each other anymore. Mystery girl has her own life and she has hers. Then the thought of personal space came to her. That was her final decision, she wouldn’t talk to her because she respects each other’s personal space.

As much as she wants to talk to she can’t, she’s too much of a coward to do it. It’s not like they’ll meet again soon. Right? Hyejoo thinks it’s impossible to meet 1 girl out of a billion in the world. Unless fate does something that will intertwine their lives together.

It’s unfair but she only has to accept that.

It hurts her but she has to let the feeling go soon.

Time passes by and the test was already done. She noticed that the mystery girl already packed her things and when she made eye contact with black haired girl, she gave that radiant smile again. Of course, the other girl returned a warm smile at her and with just that, the mystery blonde girl left the room. Hyejoo does the same thing and she saw her with someone, who was probably her friend in a different room.

Hyejoo just stops and looks from afar. Keeping her distance from the girl she fell in love with just a hours ago.

She realizes that there are some things that didn’t change yet, she was still the same person who lacks self-esteem.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! pls leave feedback and kudos if you enjoyed this :)


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